Sentence Variety
Every writer wants their words to flow smoothly and their meaning to be clear.
Here are two problems to watch out for:

Problem #1 - The Grocery List

Don't throw all your describing words into one sentence!

Example: The old dog was brown, scraggly, dirty, mean, and lazy.
Try to give each detail its own descriptive sentence.
 

Problem # 2 - The Broken Record

Don't begin each sentence the same way!

Example: He had long black hair. He had a striped shirt. He had dark, bushy eyebrows. He had a bandana
tied around his head. He had a big, gold earring in his ear and a sword in his hand.
Rewrite these sentences and replace repeating words with more interesting ones. It is started for you.

Here are some other ideas...

• Try changing the subject of the sentence.
  The cow mooed happily. > A happy moo filled the air.
   

• Begin some sentences with "ing" verbs rather than subjects.
  He began to run. > Looking over his shoulder, he began to run.

 

 

Practice with Grocery Lists
Revise the description below so that it doesn't seem like a grocery list!

The zoo was exciting! We saw an elephant raising his trunk, a giraffe strolling across a field, a polar bear taking a nap, and several seals swimming gracefully.

Now try this one.

The kitchen was a mess! There were tomatoes on the floor, noodles all over the counter, pureed carrots splattered on the wall, and pudding smeared on the ceiling.

Now try to revise these grocery lists below:
It was a bright, sunny, hot summer day.

The woods were dark, damp, and mysterious.

In the room there were dirty clothes, newspapers, and old food.

The dog had fluffy brown fur, big eyes, long ears, and a wagging tail.

The stranger had a pale complexion, dark hair, and fearful eyes.

The beautiful meadow was filled with flowers, trees, and birds.

 

 

Practice with (BORING!) Broken Records
Think of other words or phrases that you could use
in place of the word "she" in each sentence.

She     has long, straight hair the color of a crow.
She     had pearly white skin that seemed to shimmer. She      had a long tail covered with glittering blue and green scales.

Rewrite these sentences so that they will start with different words (like "ing" words), but the meaning will be the same.
The skater glided across the ice and smiled at the audience.

The movie star looked glamorous and waved at the fans.

Harry hurried to school and fell on a patch of ice.

The frog leapt from lily pad to lily pad and crossed the pond.

Try changing the subject to improve these sentences:
He had straggly hair.   

He had a big hat.

He carried a parakeet on his shoulder.

He had an angry expression on his face.

Be creative! Make these sentences begin differently--not with "There were...".
There were lace curtain on the windows.

There was a green carpet on the floor.

There were books on the shelves.

There was a mysterious portrait hanging in the corner.

These sentences also need work.
There were bushes along the side of the house.

There was a fence around the yard.

There were flowers in the garden.

There were butterflies everywhere.

Revise these sentences so that they do not begin with "I saw..." or "I liked...".
I saw cobwebs on the treasure chest.

I saw a broken lock on the treasure chest.

I liked the jewels in the treasure chest.

I liked the mysterious map we found at the bottom of the treasure chest.